April 11, 2022

 

Subject: Week 1 million and 1     Well good news friends and family, I'm staying in Roanoke Rapids for another transfer!    Lately things have been very busy. Frankly speaking there have definitely been what feels like a lot more lows then highs out here in the field. I don't want to scare anyone who's planning on going on a mission, in fact I encourage it, but I'm having a rough spell here.     I also don't want to make anyone think that I'm dying or losing it, this is fairly normal especially for a missionary, but it doesn't make it any less painful.    For one I just feel grossly unqualified for the tasks ahead and I definitely feel like less and less of a good missionary every day. It's of course hard but I won't give up. I have also heard some things from family and friends from home that worry me very much and I miss people. I feel very lonely here. I know I have the support I need but I really don't have any friends haha. It's for sure a challenge to be out here right now. For this reason I'm going to be trying to limit my contact with home and friends.  Friends if you want to email me please do but I will only respond on Mondays. I think the harder I work the better I feel, so I'm going to try to be all in with what I do.    Also guys please don't worry too much about my emotional and mental state. I'm going to be fine I promise. I just wanted to throw a little bit of realism into your week here. I hope to be a better missionary because of it.  Here's a scripture that I opened up to when I looked for comfort when I was stressed:    Mormon 8:22 "For the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled."  It's really just God saying to me, "The work is going on with or without you Elder Bush, so you might as well help." I very much like this scripture and I encourage you to maybe memorize it or something.     Also I know you guys are busy I don't feel lonely because you don't check on me it's because I'm so far away. I know you all have your own personal lives so I don't mind that yall don't call me every day and ask me what I ate for breakfast.  Well thanks for reading my sob story  Pictures next week, sorry kids  Love,       Owen