Elder Owen Bush: June 27, 2022

Hey friends this is Elder Bush here I'm in Durham north Carolina which is a pretty good place.

☆Here's a story to read

I've told this story about nine thousand times but here goes.

It was a dark and stormy night

I was making calls with Elder Spencer. In the church.

All of the sudden I saw a spare wheelchair sitting around. Like a paper bag.

youknowhowpaperbagssitaround?#cringe

Basically I copped the sucker and played and played until my heart was full.

Then I wanted to go outside and do a little off roading in the chair. So I put it in fwd and rolled through the doors.

Pause. Yes I know I get distracted very easily. I would like to remind you that all the calls are taken care of by now.

So I rolled through the door

Happy as can be in my new toy. I thought life couldn't get any better. Meanwhile to my utter surprise.. BAM.

A little boy crawled across the carpet and I was in much shock.

Anyways I picked him up and cupped him in my hands. He also tried to bite me. I also managed to do this while staying in the wheelchair. Little did I know this guy was a sneaky feller because he sneaked right out of my fingies and crawled up my back like a psycho. I couldn't find it at first but then I felt him scurrying across my shoulder blades. "I am surprised!" I said. (I was surprised) I tried to see this sneaky boy but he was at the perfect angle that I couldn't turn my head all the way around. It was at this moment that Elder Spencer decided to not help me.

He instead took a film of me on his phone.

But I digress.

I tried to claw at this boy with my hands but he flung himself off my back and flopped onto the doormat below. I was again a shocked man. Pretty much I grasped and grasped at this guy's tail but he was just out of reach and he crawled under the baseboard. Also this boy is a lizard. Forgot to say that.

Long story long, he gave me his tail in exchange for his freedom and I was left with nothing but a sad reminder of how bad I am at catching lizards.

BUT WAIT, THERES MORE

because later that day I was walking out with the whole district in my suit pants and shirt and tie. When HOT DOG this same man was out and about in all his tail-less glory. I went immediately into stalking mode and pounced on this sucker. Hah. I've finally got him. I put the little child into the front of my shirt pocket and proceeded about my day. Not 00000.001 milliseconds later this freak of nature fosbury flopped over the lip of my pocket in a desperate attempt to escape. He was fast. But I was faster. I scooped his tiny little body into my arms... but he was a wiggly man again and I juggled him around for a solid 5 second. (I also have video of this moment)

Finally I clapped him up against my belly trying to pin him to me. I am surprised he survived all of this. He's pretty durable what can I say.

Anyways after I cupped him up to my belt area I took a peekity peek at this nut and what do you know he was completely gone. I was absolutely chill. And I did not yell and scream and think there was a lizard in my pants. I didn't even pull my pants down to my ankles to check to see if there was a boy in there. Ok maybe I did. BUT HE WAS NOT THERE. I CHECKED ALL MY POCKETS EVEN. Guy was on x games mode.

I searched for a while but he was nowhere to be found. I eventually gave up and denounced him disappeared. I guess he had jumped out while I was juggling him. Or maybe I'm literally insane and he was never real. But wait... I HAVE EVIDENCE OF THIS. I CAN LOOK BACK ON THE VIDEO TO SEE WHERE THIS SON OF A GUN WENT. Let me sum up what happend when I checked the video. First of all it was blurry as heck. Second it totally looked like I got him. One second he's up against my clothes. Next second he's way gone. Pretty much a mystery I would say.

That is. Until about short 15 minutes later. When I was in the car actually chilling and actually relaxed. Still not sure where the man went but not worried too much.

Meanwhile the scrub was still clinging to the fabric of my shirt. But not on the outside. No. On the inside. This man had made the most 1000 amongus imposter IQ play of all time. He had crawled into my shirt instead of my pants. And while I was looking in all the pants pockets and holes, he was sitting on my shoulder observing it all. Like a parrot. I don't know.

Anyways I felt him moving and I was so surprised I actually yelled. Which was unfortunate because my district leader was on the phone with an investigator. I yelled and glued my hand to my shoulder as I waited for the driver to pull over. After that I pulled him out and confronted him. He seemed just as scared as I was... NOT. this guy was looking at me like I was a fly on a wall, a sitting duck, with a tie on. and a shirt. That he could crawl into. He pretty much violated all my privacy.And for that, he payed the ultimate price. TOTHESTREETS!

anyways I put him on the sidewalk and drove away. I tried to forget about the whole stowaway situation. Too bad we literally have a whole entire video about it.

Yeah so that's basically it. We also got a new car this week.

And we had Chris's baptism in thr Durham 2nd ward. Chris is a very cool man. We like him.

K people you could pray for

And I will describe next week

•Aliyah, that she will keep being awesome

•Brittany, that she will find a job

•Brad that he will find a house or go to an old folks home

•Chad, that he will realize the importance of family

•Jeep, that he will have faith

Pictures from this week

Much love,

Your second favorite Elder bush