December 20, 2021

 

Subject: The moon is a noob 

December 13, 2021

This is pretty embarrassing but I don't know how to tie my shoes that one way where you hold the one loop and then wrap it around and under. I just never took the time to learn it. Whenever someone watches me tie my shoe I feel judged. Just let a man tie his shoes in peace. Please. I wish I could wrap my arms around all of yall. That way I could put you in a warm embrace and then whisper in your ear: "I threw up in your pillowcase" it's the little things ✨ On another note, this is my last day of training which is grand but also sand. I'm driving all the way up to Raleigh tomorrow, (pronounced too-maw-roe) To get a random boy, and drive him allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllthewaydown here to Smithfield where I will teach him the tricks and the trades of the land. Also I make it sound like Raleigh and Smithfield are super far apart but it's like a 30 minute drive. So this guy that I'm kidnapping better be cool or else this next transfer is going to be 🚮 [man throwing away something in the waste basket] Can you guys send be a buttload of letters so that I can hab them. I might like that I think. If you send me a letter I might even think about sending one back. Luckily elder Low has been really good for me because he makes me do everything by myself even getting dressed and making my bed and stuff. He said it's what "normal people do" but he's just being dramatic. This week I have done a very much amount of thing. I COULD be a sausage and tell you every single thing that I did this week but it sufficeth me to say that we did make haste to do the work of the Lord. Friends I want to let every soul who reads this to know that I really like my mission. So far it has been very fulfilling. Rattling even. The book of mormon is a true book. I say a lot of dumb stuff but that's one thing I will never deny. The divinity, of the book of Mormon. No evil man could write such a book, And no good man would write it, for the purpose of deceit. -close quote I don't know whose going to sit down and read this far into this clownish email, but whoever does, needs to hear what I have to say next: God loves you no matter what, no strings attached, no fine print, no action needed; He loves you no matter how bad or terrible you are, but He loves you too much... To keep you that way. Do. Not. Get. Comfortable. Get up, and suit up. These are the days where every soldier in God's army is needed. If you are not for Him you are against Him. Don't sit around and get moldy. Go help someone. Ok, sury about that, just had an eruption of zeal and emotion towards God's word. A special thanks to all those who love and support me Peace 1&2 golfy boy 3 making calls 4 a cool thing 5 Bryan 6 7 Tom 8 elder Gong and the mission. Oh yeah elder Gong came to the mission 9 blanket

December 6, 2021

umop ap!sdn 

I worked too hard on this subject line for you to not turn your phone around to see it. 

Anyways as promised this is an email giving you a rundown of some of my favorite people. 

I'm going to try to paint a picture of all my people because they are who I'm here for and want you to know about them. 

Sorry if this is a lame and wordy email but if you've made it this far grow up and read the rest because I promise you'll start loving the people just as I do. 

Okey so before I talk about anyone were teaching I just want to mention Anna and Janice,  who we baptized and they're both still super active and amazing. 

● Janice was first but I don't exactly give myself a ton of credit for her baptism, I did teach her but not as much as the elders before me. She's kind of a freebie. She has two dogs named Liam and Goldie and her husband's name is Jeff. She was just diagnosed with and autoimmune disease that has something to do with her thyroid but she's still super energetic and loving. She's always down to make someone a casserole or talk with the relief society for 6 hours. 

● Anna is the first person that I taught all the lessons too and she is married to one of the guys in our ward. It's weird because she's like 20 and that's only 1 year older than me. She was the first person I recited Joseph smith's vision to and it was absolutely phenomenal. We love Anna so much and she has a bunch of pets one of then is a cat that will scream at you to pet it. One time her husband Craigan threw a sandal at it when it was on the couch. It was incredible 

☆☆☆☆☆ now we have all the people I'm teaching and hopefully can change their life!!☆☆☆☆☆☆

● Bryan. This man is also 19 and like me he's a short king. I mean I'm short, like 5'10" ish but this dood is like 5'5" so he's definitely  really good at basketball. So the way we met Bryan was he came in with his gf Aimee to church and she was like " yeah this is Bryan, he's looking to get baptized" Elder Low and I looked at each other and them we did a little dance in our heads. Then we went home and did a little dance in real life. Bryan is super amazing and he loves learning. We've given him all the lessons and he especially liked the plan of salvation. That one we drew it out on the chalkboard and then had him teach us. Twas pretty legendary if I do say so myself. 

So Bryan's baptismal date is suppose do be this Saturday but there's this ward Christmas brunch, which was scheduled WAY after but apparently takes priority. No matter. The important thing is that it's happening. 

Cool fact about bryan: one time he drove a car straight through his house and into his living room. His parents were not thrilled. 

● joe!!!!! I can't forget to mention the king himself. Joe is someone that the sisters found phone tracting and he said call him every night. Joe lives in a trailer home with no drivers license but that doesn't stop him from coming to church. We've taught him pretty much everything and we're working on him quitting smoking. Guess what fools I promised this man that if he came to church he would be able to quit smoking and then the next day he said he would come to church and when he went to smoke a cigarette he started coughing and he got a headache! That happened every time he went to smoke. Then he came to church and wore a dope red shirt. He really loves the sisters because they're always so nice to him. Yesterday I gave him a blessing and it was great. He reads out of the book of mormon stories kids book because he can't see the fine print in the bom. *oof*. He calls us every night or we go over every night to read with him and he's coming along really well. He says he want to be a missionary like us someday. Hehe. Cool story about Joe is that he has a cat named catface and he has a bunch of bugs and roaches that come into his apartment and before we come over he cleans up and gets rid of all his "little friends". Sometimes he takes off his slipper during a lesson and goes and hits a bug. And then he's like....continue. and then we all laugh. It's a grand old time. We're hoping to put Joe on date to be baptized very soon! He's a kingggggg

●Johnny is a great man. He lives pretty much out in the middle of nowhere with a buttload of cats. He has some sever back and leg problems which he uses as an excuse to not come to church. This is kind of a fun thing but me and Elder Low went over there this week and pretty much called him to repentance because he's being a little bum. He always complains about his pain and obviously it must be really hard but bro you got this. Anyways we pretty much said we want you to Chang, and the Lord loves you too much for you to stay this way. So you HAVE  to come to church. We also had this man on date to be dunked but we took him off because he doesn't come to church. Sad sad. Cool stuff about Johnny is that he kind of lives in a pretty old shed more or less. Like the kind of thing you would see Shrek living in. The cool part about him is that he cleans it quite a bit so it's always nice and tidy. Weird but okay. Please pray for him!!

● Tom. 

TomTomTomTom. Tomtom Tom.

I pray for this man every night. To put it short he has a tooon of questions and for every answer you have, he has two more questions to ask you about your answer. 

He's absolutely a blast to teach which is not exactly what I expected but it's great. He does really well feeling the spirit but he always doubts himself. Missionaries have been teaching this man for like 5 years. I want to be the one to baptize him but I know I have to be patient. We're making slow progress with him but he really had a hard time with the whole "why do bad things happen to good people" A LOT. Which makes sense he's a really really cool guy but he just needs to take a leap of faith and realize he can't understand everything. Pray for Tom too. Fun stuff about Tom is that he has an absolutely HUGE comic book collection and action figures and all that in his basement. He's a big nerd but he's our nerd. 

● stuart is a 66 year old man that were definitely gonna put in the water.(He's the guy with the sword) He's a Baptist minister that has a huge testimony of the book of mormon and he's a super great cook and he feeds us pretty  much once a week. We're really good friends with him. He's come to church twice and believes everything about 90% so we just need to talk to him a little more. When I mean he's really our friend and I love him I mean it. Haha him and Joe are THE best. 

● roxanna is an old black lady we're teaching that comes to church every week she has a cat named midnight and she lives by herself. She gets a call from her niece every day and talks to her for like 3 hours every time. Roxanna is soooo sweet and loves talking to us. She always talks about the same stuff whenever we try to teach her a lesson. She's not exactly the best listener but she's definitely working on it bless her heart. Fun fact about roxanna is that she keeps it like 85° in her house so that's a grand old time too. 

Ok so that's a small part of the people we're teaching we have tons more for example:

Joseph

Caleb

Troy

Avery

Karla

Annie

Annie

Elizabeth

Kelly 

Saquaundra

Zion 

Tiera

Anitra

Harry

Pearl 

James 

Allen

Adriana.....

And much much more! The people that I've named is probably about 25% of the people we're talking too. It's so amazing to see the Lord work in people's lives. If you guys could pray for these people it would be sahweeet. 

Also sorry it's been a longy long email so maybe it will take a while to send but hopefully you'll all get it. 

Love you all exceptnoah

Elder bush

November 30, 2021

 Hey everybody 

I am writing an email.

DISCLAIMER

 In hindsight this is the worst email I've written in a bit 

and I've had some pretty wild ones so hold on to ur butts.

This is gonna be what the cool kids call a "pro gamer move" 

A wise man once said: "never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna see you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

 

.

 

Spiritual thought: why do YOU go to church? I go to church to partake of the sacrament and to worship God. Remember what Dallin H. Oaks said. You only worship for yourself. You can't worship for others. Anyways give that a thought and let me know. 

*Ok I realize I don't really ever talk about my progressing people so sorry about that. Next week I'll give a full people email I promise. 

I'm doing missionary work I swear. *

 Sorry to the whole 4 people that read this. Don't cry. It's gonna be OK. Remember tomorrow is always another day, Believe in yourself, And don't give up. Follow your dreams, Work smarter not harder, Go against the grain, never let a man tie his shoe around you, never order the Beijing beef at panda express, say bless you when someone sneezes in your mouth, learn to sew, join the wnba and be a winner, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're beautiful, drink more water, always touch that red thing at the bottom of the urinal for good luck, don't forget to smile, wake up on the right side of the bed, be the change you want to see in the world, if you wear socks to bed you're a creep

Here's as many pictures as I could fit in the email. 

1shoes dat I want. (Christmas???? JKJK unless..)

2cool diner tingz

3joes laundry mat. The dopest place. (I actually met a $uper cool man here)

4 greg 

5,6,7,&8 dogs I've met so far

November 22, 2021

If pi is infinite, your phone number is in there somewhere. just saying 

This is a late boy email sorry about that. I'm going to choose my words wisely in this email as not to offend anybody. 

 Strawberry nesquick 

 Pretty sure nobody is offended by any of these things. If you are you're a wet blanket. What can I say.

Anyways I've come to the realization that I accidentally called one of my investigators greg when i meant to call him Joe. (The cool uncle) 

It's actually his birthday today pretty cool. He's turning like 63 or something like that he doesn't exactly look that old if you close one eye. There's this guy we’re Teaching who is the same age but looks like he's like 200 yrs old. Probably because he's a smoker and had like 5 types of cancer or something. His name is Stuart and he actually came to church. He's an absolute unit. And he loves the book of mormon. He freaking dope. Anyways he is also a very good cook and feeds us once a week. He said he wanted to adopt me as his son and had me and Elder Low sign his book of mormon. He wrote " the Utah cowboy" under my companions signature and "the Texas cowboy" under mine. He's so cool and we look forward to meeting with him. 

For this week's spiritual thought just give my mom a call and she'll give you some wise words or something I don't know. (706)-504-8635 you got this mom. 

Also elder Gong is coming and I'm gonna dap him up. 

Here's some stuff but I'm not going to number them they always go out of order 

happy birthday king (joe) 

More joe  

stuart with a fricking sword  

pres. And sis. Maurer zoom

this is going on my vsco when I get back

Me pretending to be every girl ever with their seat super far up

Big dog named belle 

November 15, 2021

Fellow residents of the United states; 

Please help me. I am trapped in an endless cycle of miracles and blessings from on high. I cooked shrimp in a sauce pan and forgot that shrimp have tails. I spit the tails out. The shrimp were good. I will try again 

tomorrow. 

Shoutout to my mom for helping me learn how to ride my bike that one time.

 So that I could drive a 2021 equinox my whole mission. 

Janice baker, the woman we dunked on like Shaq in his prime, is having us over for Thanksgiving. And we're going to get catering from cracker barrell. Don't tell Janice but whenever I hear cracker barrel for some reason I think of macaroni grill which is where I traumatized myself by peeing on a barstool in like 2007. Anyways I think I've had cracker barrel like maybe once in my life and I remember there was one of those golf tee puzzle triangles and I remember I was too dumb to figure it out. So cracker barrel is not the kind of thing that I shout from the rooftops because I love it so much. Anyway I'm grateful that Janice is willing to feed us. Because we don't really get fed too much sadly.

Okey here's some food for thought: 

2 Nephi 9: 10. O how great the goodness of our God. People very much tend to focus on the negative things that God puts us through. But for the most part we live pretty joyful lives I feel. And we can also control the quality of our lives. I don't know who needs to hear this but maybe life is like when ur taking a warm nap and you're kind of overheating but not so much to the point that you're gonna die so you kind of need something cool so you flip over your pillow and it's just perfect enough to cool you down. Yeah maybe it's like that. Maybe there's a cold pillow out there waiting for you to flip it over. Keep thinking about that brothers and sisters.

Also feel free to follow me on Facebook. I post every single 6 months so it's a treat. 

I love you all so much.

Except Noah he's a turd

Elder Bush

1 someone hack into my Instagram and post this

2 haha funny haha

3 decorating sis. Galbraith tree because she's 3ft tall

4 ^

5 smol book of mrmon 

November 8, 2021

 Hey everyone. People that I'm thinking about right now: 

my mom

 my dad, 

Glen, 

Anika,

 Braden Peterson, 

Troy. 

If you're offended that I'm not thinking about you right now, then I've got news for you: prepare to be offended a lot because I'm a selfish man and "I only love my bed and my momma I'm sorry."

-not stolen from drake

I also have this weird condition called nofriendsisusloseritus, and the symptoms are stuff like: not having friends, and that's it. So if you get the chance to email me go for it because I love hearing about how terrible it is to not be a missionary. 

I've had a terrific week fellas. I think more people have asked if I'm related to George Bush then my whole life, dawg. 

We're teaching this man named greg and he's an absolute unit! He reads the children's book of mormon every day because he's eyesight is too bad to see the other book of mormon, and he has a cat that he orders around like a dog. She's a really sweet cat. I still like dogs more. Anyways we committed Joe to baptism so that's a cash money time I believe, we just have to pick a date now!

I was telling my mother that I have gained a real testimony of prayer over the weekend. Usually people don't like answering phone calls from random numbers BUT the Lord has other plans bro. Everytime we would call someone that was not likely to pick up, they would answer. And one time I I prayed while calling someone and they didn't answer but then a few moment later, they called right back. And we had a didgeridoo of a conversation, mate. 

This is the Lord's work, why not involve Him in it right? 

I promise as a representative of Jesus Christ Himself and under His direction and through His power, that if you pray before stressful times, than He will answer! Also don't take my word for it. Try it yourself. I have faith that at least one human being will read this far down in my email and see this and say to themselves: "yeS. Imma do this thing that he's talking about." 

I know the book of mormon is inspired revelation and I know that the Bible-exceptsongsofsolomon- can help you feel the spirit every time. No offense to all those songs of solomoners  out there. It's a cool poem. 

Now titles for most likely out of order pictures:

1anna's baptism!!!!! 

2meme

3this is called a Carolina squat and it's sick

4vogue

6hyper me

5the hermanas and the Honeycutts!

7the book of.mormon is trueeee

8our apartment is really cold 

9greg reading the children's bom and his cat: catface. Actual name